Average 48. Brobbey scored a hat-trick and lost. Brighton put three past Arsenal. Joao Pedro did not play. Man City won 5-3. I got 79 and topped the group. You should have listened to the podcast last week.
Gameweek 5 is done and we have 33 weeks left to go. The average was 48, and that number tells the story of the week better than anything else. A lot of us built our squads around things that did not happen: Joao Pedro did not play, Arsenal got hammered, and the one player everyone transferred in and captained last week, Morgan Gibbs-White, delivered two points. Meanwhile, Brobbey scored a hat-trick and ended up on the losing side of a 5-3. You genuinely cannot script this game.
I got 79 points and finished first in our group this week. It feels like you guys should have listened to the podcast last week, because I was spitting bars. Things just worked out. The one thing that let me down was having the Nottingham Forest keeper as my goalkeeper — I did not expect Coventry to beat them. And that, in many ways, is the perfect summary of gameweek five. A lot of things did not go as any of us would have anticipated.
GW5 Select Recaps
Manchester City 5–3 Sunderland
The highest-scoring game of the gameweek and the most exciting. Man City scored first through Enzo with a cheeky free kick. Brobbey equalized. Cherki scored. Brobbey equalized again. Man City scored again. Brobbey completed his hat-trick. Then Semenyo took over, scoring two goals, and Haaland finished it. Five-three.
It was a brilliant game because it showed that Man City have different ways to beat you. Enzo is looking like a great signing. They have moved away from the Rodri system entirely. If you remember, Niko Gonzalez came in as Rodri Light and they got rid of him quickly. The direction they have gone with Enzo is working so far. Gvardiol and Semenyo had assists. Le Fee and Angulo had the assists for Brobbey's hat-trick.
Brobbey was absolutely unplayable. He won five or more fouls, won 10 or more duels, and scored three goals. Brobbey got three bonus points. Semenyo got two and Cherki got one.
This was Man City at their devastating best. Different scorers, different moments, different solutions. And yet they still nearly let it slip.
Brighton 3–0 Arsenal
The biggest disappointment of the gameweek, and also the most surprising. Arsenal were trying to win 10 in a row and they looked capable of it at the start of the season. Then they met the strongest team in England: number one in attack, Brighton.
Arsenal looked stressed the entire game. They were pressured from the first whistle to the last. Only Saka and maybe Havertz had any hint of something. Kostoulas was excellent. Gross, at this point, you just set and forget. He opened the scoring with a goal from outside the box. Kostoulas also scored from outside the box. The third goal was a header from a set piece, and watching it I was genuinely asking myself: am I really watching Arsenal? Gross, Gomez, and Kostoulas had the assists.
Arsenal were never allowed to settle. They lost the ball, created opportunities for Brighton, and Brighton made them pay every single time. This is the blueprint to beat Arsenal, and maybe only Bournemouth can execute it at this level outside Brighton. What Brighton did to Arsenal in this game is what I thought PSG would do to Arsenal in the Champions League final. Just be that much better.
I now have De Cuyper, Gross, and I am seriously considering bringing in Kostoulas to complete the trio. Capitalize on their offense. They are the best attacking team in England.
“"This Brighton team would have beaten PSG in that final if they played this exact game."
”
Other Matches
Brentford 3–0 Chelsea: The Friday opener and a shock. A lot of us went into the week with Palmer, Joao Pedro, and Rogers (the Chelsea trio) and then Joao Pedro did not even play. On top of him not playing, Chelsea as a team looked terrible. Three-nil, clean.
Fulham 1–1 Man United: Lisandro Martínez scored an own goal. The goals in that game were terrible and the game was terrible. It was not Bruno and it was not Mbeumo who scored for United. A Martínez own goal and a United equalizer. Dull.
Liverpool vs Bournemouth: Liverpool won. Isak scored. The game was boring. The game before was also boring. Liverpool have become stable at the back, they struggle to score, and they have now kept three clean sheets in a row. It might be time to start considering Virgil van Dijk and Jacquet as assets. Since they brought in Araujo's right back, their defensive structure has changed.
Coventry 1–0 Nottingham Forest: The result nobody saw coming, and the reason my Forest goalkeeper got me nothing. Rushworth, the Coventry keeper, had the assist for Dasilva's goal. Dasilva was the difference; it was a long pass that he converted and they were worthy winners. This was also the result that hurt a lot of people who had transferred in Gibbs-White last week.
Leeds vs Crystal Palace: A tight game. Mitchell's goal was cancelled, which just goes to show that the wing-back thing is still a major feature of Crystal Palace's game. Trafford had 10 points for Leeds.
Aston Villa vs Tottenham: Manzambi scored and assisted on his first Premier League start for Villa. A debut to remember.
Top Performers: Gameweek 5
Seven clean sheets again this week, with defenders and goalkeepers continuing to be rewarded.
Goalkeepers
| Player | GW Pts |
|---|---|
| Rushworth | 11 |
| Trafford | 10 |
| Pickford | 8 |
| Alisson | 8 |
| Kelleher | 6 |
| Benitez | 6 |
| Tzolakis (penalty save) | 6 |
Defenders (8+ points)
| Player | GW Pts |
|---|---|
| Dasilva | 15 |
| Schuster | 14 |
| Tarkowski | 14 |
| Hall | 13 |
| Thomas | 9 |
Midfielders (10+ points)
| Player | GW Pts |
|---|---|
| Semenyo | 17 |
| Gross | 14 |
| Manzambi | 13 |
| Buendia | 12 |
| Antony | 10 |
| Kuna | 10 |
| Willock | 10 |
Forwards (8+ points)
| Player | GW Pts |
|---|---|
| Brobbey | 17 |
| Kostoulas | 10 |
| Isak | 8 |
| Barry | 6 |
| Haaland | 6 |
Player of the gameweek: Brobbey and Semenyo, tied at 17. Brobbey had a hat-trick and still lost. Semenyo had two goals and a clean sheet. Two completely different routes to the same number.
Stats and Records
- On matchday five, Brobbey became the first player to score three goals, win five or more fouls, and win 10 or more duels in a Premier League game since Christian Benteke did it for Aston Villa against Sunderland in 2013. Not even Haaland has put up such a start.
- No player has scored more Premier League goals in 2026 than Morgan Gibbs-White with 13, even though he did not score this gameweek.
- For the first time since the 2008-09 season, Tottenham are bottom of the Premier League after five matches, with five points.
- This is Manchester United's joint lowest tally after five games of a Premier League season, also picking up five in 2014-15.
- When Brobbey scored his hat-trick against Manchester City, he was the first player since Roque Santa Cruz to score a hat-trick and end up on the losing side of a Premier League match, in December 2007.
- Brobbey is also the fourth player in Premier League history to score a hat-trick against the side starting the day at the top of the table: Robbie Fowler did it against Aston Villa, Dai did it versus Manchester United in 2011, Lukaku did it versus Manchester United in 2013.
- Brobbey's 33-minute brace is the earliest a Sunderland player has scored twice in a Premier League game since Darren Bent did it in 2010. It is also the first time a Sunderland player scored a hat-trick since 2016, when Jermain Defoe did it.
- This was also the first time Manchester City have taken the lead three times in the first half of a Premier League match, and overall the seventh time in the competition's history that a side has gone ahead on three separate occasions in the first half.
- Rushworth, who had the assist for Dasilva's opener, is only the second goalkeeper to assist a team's first goal in a Premier League campaign. Peter Schmeichel did it in 1992-93 when he gave an assist to Muse.
- Among goalkeepers that have conceded 100 or more goals in the Premier League, only Hans Segers with 22% has conceded a higher proportion from outside the penalty area than Raya, who has conceded 20.6% from outside the box.
- At 27 years and 249 days, Declan Rice is the third youngest player to start 300 Premier League games, after Gareth Barry (26, 323 days) and Frank Lampard (27, 209 days).
- Tottenham have lost 50 of their 141 Premier League games at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, as many defeats as Arsenal have suffered in 382 top-flight matches at the Emirates.
- Johan Manzambi is the second player to both score and assist on their first Premier League start for Aston Villa, after Kevin Phillips did it against Bolton in 2005.
- Brentford have played seven Premier League games on a Friday and have won six of them with a points-per-game average of 2.71 on Fridays. The best of any side to play three or more matches on a specific day in the competition's history.
- Xabi Alonso is only the sixth manager to see his side concede two or more goals in each of their first five Premier League games, after Mick McCarthy, Sammy Lee, Terry Connor, Jokanović, and Scott Parker.
- 35 and 36-year-old Danny Welbeck and Jordan Henderson are the oldest English players to start a Premier League game for Chelsea since a 36-year-old John Terry did it in 2017. Note the word English: Thiago Silva was older.
- Dominic Calvert-Lewin is the top-scoring Englishman in the Premier League since the start of last season. Talk about a revived career.
- Manchester City have scored in 21 consecutive home games.
- Haaland has now scored against all 25 Premier League clubs he has played against. Sunderland were the last one on the list.
- Maresca is now the sixth manager to win his first five Premier League games in a row.
- Lisandro Martínez scored an own goal against Fulham. It is a joint highest for Man United. If he scores one more, he will be their outright top own-goal scorer.
- Szoboszlai has no goals or assists since his gameweek one penalty. For those who have him: are you still going to hold? I watched his free kicks fly just a little wide and felt genuine pain for those people.
- In the year 2026, Chelsea have conceded more goals than any other side in the Premier League: 43. Crystal Palace 42, Newcastle 39 (tied with Spurs), and Burnley fifth with 38.
- Arsenal conceded three goals in the Premier League for the first time since January 2025, and only the third time since December 2023.
- Tottenham have only won two of their last 21 home games in the Premier League. Since November 2024, they have not won in all competitions after conceding the first goal.
- Liverpool have now kept three clean sheets in a row.
- Pascal Gross has three double-digit returns in the opening five gameweeks. I have gotten all of them.
FPL Sidebar
There is a man called Sam Mustafa who is playing a perfect game. All five of his captains this season have returned. His worst pick was Joao Pedro, who gave him 22 points. His best was Bruno Fernandes, who gave him 46 points. After five gameweeks, his captains have yielded 157 points. That is not a team, that is a masterpiece.
Joao Pedro has 33 points so far this season and so does Alexander Isak. Surprising, right? They are level after five weeks.
Haaland was captained by 6 million managers against Sunderland. He scored once and returned 12 as captain. Painful that it was not more, but at least he scored.
Gross was captained by 5,618 people, probably one of the best captain decisions of the gameweek alongside whoever captained Brobbey and whoever captained Semenyo.
Over 1.44 million managers captained Palmer, Joao Pedro, or Rogers. For those Joao Pedro captains: I hope your vice was not also Palmer or Rogers.
Transfer Market
Most Transferred In
| Player | Transfers In |
|---|---|
| Gross | 686,000 |
| Schade | 328,000 |
| Kostoulas | 257,000 |
| De Cuyper | 240,000 |
| Hall | 207,000 |
Most Transferred Out
| Player | Transfers Out |
|---|---|
| Joao Pedro | 333,000 |
| Szoboszlai | 177,000 |
| Bruno Fernandes | 168,000 |
| Elanga | 148,000 |
| Calvert-Lewin | 139,000 |
Joao Pedro going out makes sense given he did not play, but the next gameweek is in three weeks. He may be back by then. Think carefully before you move him. Szoboszlai going out at 177,000 is more understandable: no goals and no assists since his gameweek one penalty.
Our League: GW5 Breakdown
Top Performers This Week
Here is how my squad looked: Sels 2, Tarkowski 14, Calafiori 1, De Cuyper 6, Gross 14, Cherki 8, Schade 9, Gakpo 3, Orde 2, Isak 8, Haaland (C) 12: 79 points.
The thing that let me down was the Forest keeper. I did not expect Coventry to win that game. Everything else worked. If I had a Brighton goalkeeper instead, we are talking about a 80+ week.
Bottom Performers This Week
The worst squad of the week belonged to Gunner Glory with 22 points. Their captain was Joao Pedro (did not play), so the captaincy transferred to their vice captain Raya, who conceded three goals and got 1 point, doubled to 2. Then: Gvardiol 4, Trufair 2, Mendy 0, Rice 1, Bruno 1, Szoboszlai 2, Watadango 1, Tarvenier 2, Isidor 1, Haaland 6. You can tell this team was built with a chip in mind that has not aged well. It is a tough position to be in.
Most Points on the Bench
Walal Somali's bench: Vuskovic 8, Gross 14, Ayari 7, Kinsky 2. They believed in Arsenal over Brighton and benched two Brighton players (Gross and Ayari) to accommodate the Arsenal faith that turned out to be completely misplaced. 31 bench points is painful.
Transfer Penalties
| Manager | Transfers | Points Lost |
|---|---|---|
| Don Clinton | 6 | -20 |
| Victor Nyabola | 5 | -16 |
| Kigz Kigz | 5 | -12 |
| Caleb | -8 | |
| Joe Mbugua | -8 | |
| Steve Migz | -8 |
Don Clinton, a longtime fixture on this podcast, lost 20 points to transfers. Six transfers in one week is a lot. 90 transfers were made across our group this week, plus nine free hits, seven wild cards, and one triple captain.
Squad Values
Highest squad value: Black Adam at 102.0. Melita Elvis and John Mwangemi both at 101.8. Sir Chivini at 101.7. Mutegi Mwangi, Emanuel Okafor, Naim Ali, and Michuki all at 101.6.
Lowest: Kojo Danso at 98.8, Harry Potter 98.9, Analdinho Arnold 99.1, Aaron Muindi 99.2, Hillary Malik 99.3.
Most money in the bank: Dennis Mau (Julie Hills) still unchanged. Mark Gioche 7.4.
Biggest Movers: Rank Climbers
| Team / Manager | Positions Gained |
|---|---|
| G Star Glitz | +46 |
| Theo Casey | +38 |
| Marcus Peters | +38 |
| Don't Mind | +37 |
| Randy Agusta | +37 |
Biggest Movers: Rank Droppers
| Team / Manager | Positions Lost |
|---|---|
| Gunner Glory | -44 |
| Lawyer Malik | -37 |
| Melvin Kathurima | -36 |
| Khaled Muhammad | -31 |
| Sir Chivini | -28 |
Most Popular Players in Our Group
| Player | Ownership |
|---|---|
| Haaland | 90% |
| Joao Pedro | 78% |
| Calafiori | 70% |
| Morgan Rogers | 52% |
| Gross | 52% |
Captain Choices: GW5
| Captain | Times Chosen |
|---|---|
| Haaland | 90 |
| Joao Pedro | 19 |
| Bruno Fernandes | 15 |
| Gibbs-White | 12 |
| Isak | 9 |
| Palmer | 5 |
| Calvert-Lewin | 3 |
| Barry | 2 |
| Others (1 each) | Rogers, Raya, Gvardiol, Schade, Odegaard, Semenyo, Schade, Havertz, Gee |
Haaland was captained by 90 of us and returned 12. It was painful that it was only one goal. But at least he scored. The standout missed opportunity: Gross was captained by 5,618 globally and returned 14 base points, 28 as captain. And one person in our group captained Brobbey. Whoever that was: you have earned the right to say whatever you want for the next three weeks.
Overall League Table: After GW5
| Pos | Team | Manager | Total Pts |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Marto fc | Martin Asewe | 389 |
| 2 | Mimi ni Sifuna FC | Peter Kimani | 380 |
| 3 | JU-JAMAICA FC | Mutegi Mwangi | 375 |
| 4 | Fergie time | Davis Otara | 372 |
| 5 | Tufive4 | papï chúllö | 367 |
| 5 | dudade | oti omondi | 367 |
| 7 | Pending Moderation | Charles Cardovillis | 366 |
| 8 | Heha Movers FC | Brian Murila | 364 |
| 8 | SAM_LOUD FC | SAM LOUD | 364 |
| 10 | OLE FCC | Melita Elvis | 363 |
Martin Asewe holds first place with 389 points. Peter Kimani moves up one to second with 380. The gap between first and 114th place is 100 points. Between rank 1 and rank 114, anything can happen. If you are in that range, keep going.
At the bottom: Oneote (107 points), Kelvin Walker (114), Boaz Ogallah (122), Kelvin Mwachilimu (165), Hafsa Yussuf (199).
The Global Picture
Global #1 Manager
Here is where the number one ranked manager in the world stands after gameweek five.
Global Standings
Best Team in the World: Gameweek 5
The best score of the gameweek was 126 points, achieved by Jordi Boys using a Triple Captain on Gross. Their squad: Trafford 10, Tarkowski 14, Hall 13, De Cuyper 6, Vanha 6, Gay 4, Barnes 9, Gross 42 (TC), Schade 8, Haaland 6, Isak 8. Both Bruno and Haaland in there, and still 126. Triple Captain on Gross in a week where Gross got 14 (42 as captain). An outstanding call.
International Break
This week is a review only. The international break lasts three weeks, and it almost feels like the World Cup all over again.
Unless you are using a wild card or a free hit, I would not encourage any hasty decisions. Players can get injured in international football. If your player is not playing for their country, that is a different conversation, but if they are going, hold. Wait for the dust to settle.
I will release two more episodes before the next gameweek: one will be a deeper look at my own team and my thinking for the rest of the season, and the next will be the full preview show before gameweek six. Until then, enjoy the international football, hope your players come back in one piece, and I will see you soon.